His Butler, and Catnip Tequila!
by flutterfloods
Summary: What is a butler to do when his master orders him to make tea, but there isn't any available? Well, there is a bottle of catnip tequila in the cabinet...


**Disclaimer: I don't own Kuroshitsuji**

**Cover image by AylaMorell on deviantart.**

**Got inspiration for this one shot during a very long car ride. Please don't hate me XD**

* * *

"I want some tea," Ciel said, head dropping to his desk with a bang.

"Is that an order, my lord?" Sebastian replied, questioningly raising an eyebrow.

Ciel's head shot up as he demanded, "...Yes. Make me some now." The brat- I mean young master ordered his butler.

"Of course," Sebastian bowed and left the room, headed toward the kitchen.

Entering it, the butler boiled some water, and proceeded to search a cabinet for the proper teabag to make his master's tea just the way he liked it.

"My my, it seems we have ran out of Earl Grey," Sebastian contemplated, eyes glowing bright red. "I suppose this will suffice," He said, hand hovering to the rarely traversed back of the cabinet, grabbing a bottle of brownish liquid. Sebastian then proceeded to dump half the bottle's contents into the boiled water.

"Ahh, catnip tequila," Sebastian breathed in its sickeningly sweet scent as he capped the catnip tequila and returned it to its proper shelf.

"I hope the young master will enjoy his 'tea,'" Sebastian smirked, leaving the kitchen to return to Ciel's study.

_After all, it _is _the only kind of tea I can make you at the moment, _He thought to himself.

KNOCK! Sebastian's fist pounded on the large door to Ciel's study.

KNOCK!

"Come in!" Ciel called, eagerly awaiting his drink.

Sebastian opened the door and handed the boy his 'tea,' expressionless.

Ciel sipped at the beverage, but noticed that something was...off about it.

"Sebastian?" His blue eyes widened, a realization seeming to occur within them. "T-this is...catnip teq-" Ciel wasn't able to finish as he slumped back in his chair, releasing his grip on his teacup.

In a flash, Sebastian caught the glassware before it could hit his master's newly limp body.

"My young lord has such low tolerance," Sebastian said, clearly disappointed. He picked up his master's small form effortlessly, carrying it to its owner's bedroom. Sebastian then placed Ciel gently on his bed, wrapping blankets around him.

"Humans are so fragile," The demon commented, hovering over Ciel, eyes glowing red once more while he contemplated what the boy's soul would taste like when he could finally eat it.

"Perhaps like chicken…" Sebastian pondered, picking up on a phrase that many of his young master's acquaintances used to describe food.

Not looking forward to what Ciel would do to him when he woke up, Sebastian returned to his own private quarters- a small bedroom directly below his master's. Taking off his tail-coated suit and hanging it in a closet, the butler then pulled on his jacket.

"Time to find some Earl Grey," Sebastian said as he set off on his new quest, knowing that he had a deadline to return to the Phantomhive manor before Ciel could wake up.

* * *

"What a pain!" The butler dressed in black complained. He could have just waved his hand, and POOF! Earl Grey would appear out of nowhere.

_But no._

The young master insisted that he must make things on his own, knowing how much harder it would be for him.

"That bra- I mean young master…" Sebastian shook his head.

_No, pretty sure I meant brat._

And with that, Sebastian ran (too fast for the eye to follow) to a local shop, praying to Satan that they would actually sell what he was looking for. In a matter of seconds, Sebastian arrived.

_I am simply one hell of a runner, after all._

Entering the large shop, the butler immediately headed toward the shopkeeper.

"Excuse me, but you sell Earl Grey, do you not?" Sebastian questioned the woman, as he leaned in with an expression of deep concern on his face. He _almost_ made her faint.

"W-why yes we do," She replied, handing Sebastian a large case of product. "That'll be - pounds."

Sebastian gave her what was due, thanking her before running out the door. The butler finally returned back to his master's manor, entering the kitchen once more. Opening the cabinet that didn't hold Earl Grey, Sebastian delicately placed the newly bought tea directly in front of his special concoction, hiding it from view.

"U-ungh…" The demon could hear that his master was waking up. Sebastian ran once more to his master's bedroom, cleverly standing in a corner as if he had never left.

"Young master, you have awoken at last," The butler stated, his words succeeding at awakening the boy even more. He held in a chuckle as his master rubbed 'sleep' from his eyes, although it was the middle of daytime.

"Yes, Sebastian, I am awake. What happened? It's the middle of the day, and I never take naps," The thirteen year old lied.

"It seems your tea didn't agree with you so well," The unlying, non-aging demon replied, truthfully.

"However, I can prepare another pot of tea if you'd like?" Sebastian added.

"Make it Earl Grey this time," The Earl ordered.

"Yes my lord," Sebastian said.

And the butler clothed in black prepared a pot of Earl Grey for his master, all the while silently laughing at an inside joke.

* * *

**Don't take this fic seriously! Sebastian would _never _drug Ciel... :)**

**Why catnip tequila? I don't know. I really, really, don't know. xD**

**Thanks for reading! Maybe leave a review for me? I really want to know any suggestions you may have/tips for improvement? **

**Thanks again! :D**


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